Scone Wreck at JJ Bean

It's well known that JJ Bean at Main & 14th has the most dreadful muffins.  Not only because they're terrible, but because they look and smell so good.  They look so big and tempting, weigh several pounds, and are baked in house. Then you bite into one and it turns to ashes in your mouth.  Lumpy, chewy, gluey, bland are the words that leap to mind. Despite being gluey they somehow fall to crumby pieces.  This is great for the lovely little birds that frequent the outside (and occasionally inside), but useless for someone who actually wants to eat it.  Usually the muffin paper is so firmly affixed that it just tears and sticks in pieces.  I don't know how much of that paper I've eaten, but as the flavour is indistinguishable from the muffin itself, probably quite a bit.

Since JJ Bean is the place to see and be seen on Main St, and the Americano is beyond impeccable, I find myself there quite often.  As if in a trance, I inevitably listen to myself ordering a blueberry oatmeal muffin to go with my coffee, wondering what has possessed me to give them another chance.  Bitter disappointment soon follows.

Given the weekly muffin fiasco, I've never dared order one of their scones, which look more like scone sculptures of wood and granite than something you would put in your mouth.  But today they had something new- the pumpkin scone.  It looked rather pretty, an autumnal orange and with an icing.  Pumpkin scones are irresistible.  I  ignored all prior evidence and ordered it, despite its rather steep $3.15 price tag.

Oh, muffins, how I've wronged you!  Forgive me, take me back, as long as I never have to eat another one of these scones again!  The icing was maple, which although being a fall flavour, clashes unpleasantly with the pumpkin. It was also greyish, grainy, and fell off in flakes.  I threw most of it to my little bird friends.  The base of the scone was actually fine, and had a nice pumpkin flavour.  It was dry but definitely edible.  But then it had bits of dried cranberries and nuts, another unwelcome surprise.  Has anyone ever actually tasted this recipe before?  Thankfully the Americano was delicious as usual.

I know JJ Bean's hiring policy is simply based on the ability to grow a beard and wear an unflattering hat, but seriously, maybe they could find someone who also went to cooking school.